Once, not very long ago, I was respected, I was popular (popular, ooh) But now I hang my head in shame (ahh, ooh) My life is filled with such regret
I starred in every high school play Blew every drama teacher away I graduated first in my class at Juilliard Took every acting workshop I could And I
Hey girl You know, our economy's in the toilet But I'm still gonna treat you right I said you can have whatever you like (If You Like) I said you can
Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty man The kind of man you'd never disrespect He stood eight feet tall, wore glasses, and had a third nipple on the back